A guide for party vets and novices
Whether you’re trying to top your own legendary parties of summers past or attempting your first epic party, we’ve got you covered.
Plan Accordingly
If properly executed, this party will leave you semi-destroyed. You should allow yourself at least 24 hours of recovery time before you are expected to be a fully-functioning human. If you can host the party in a venue that is okay to leave in a post-apocalyptic state for a day or two, that’s a definite plus. Hide anything fragile and/or valuable, and hide it well. Cars, TVs, 15th century Chinese vases, they’ve all got to go. Off-site is best, but it you have faith that you can lock them in a room that will stay locked through the festivities, go for it. Also have the party start in the day time to allow for enjoyment of sunshine and lessen the chances of noise complaints.
Pick a Theme
Theme’s make everything more fun. Superhero, luau, summer nights, dinosaurs, whatever you fancy. Can’t think of a theme? Make it a “Bring Your Own Theme” party to encourage people to go all out in a way that really excites them. Can’t pick just one theme? Tell everyone something different, it will make for an amazing variety of characters.
Stock Up
You want to have enough booze to kill a Russian battalion. Make sure to have beer, cider and hard alcohol, and plenty of shot glasses. Ideally plastic shot glasses so you don’t cry absurd drunken tears when someone shatters your shot glass shaped like boobs. Also have LOTS of ice and mixers. And, if you happen to live in a state where recreational marijuana is legal, tons of pot.
Provide Engaging Activities
Ideally there’s a heated pool with a blow up beer pong table and a big hot tub and a Slip n’ Slide. Have food available so you don’t have people puking in the pool after just one hour of drinking. Easy stuff like BBQ sausages (always better than hot dogs) and burgers and wings. Make sure there are girls, without girls parties suck, the only sausage fest should be on the grill. Music will be needed, something commercial free, being played out of good speakers that can easily be heard in the backyard. Bands are awesome too, but make sure they can actually play. You also want a plethora of drinking games to include but not limited to King’s Cup, Spoons and True American. Have dice and decks of cards in abundance and at the ready.
Be A Good Post-Party Host
Finally there should be ample sleeping space available for guests. Nothing kills the after-party high like a friend getting a DUI or getting in an accident. Consider charging someone who isn’t drinking with the task of key-keeper, you can barter for their services if necessary. Perhaps befriend a bus driver who will make your party his only pick up of the night. If you want to go that extra mile, have breakfast in the morning, stock up on eggs, bacon, coffee, OJ and LOTS of drinking water.
Have Fun. Make Memories.
